Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
