I wanna bring you to show and tell
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
