i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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