she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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