He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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