I'm pants shitting drunk right now
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
