I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
