No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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