After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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