so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
