She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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