Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
