I just pynch a tree in the face
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
