Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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