I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
