Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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