There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
