Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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