One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
