this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm at about main and main street
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
