I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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