I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
