Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
