I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
