he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
