I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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