i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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