Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just cropdusted the office
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
