mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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