We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
