OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
