took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
