Pants 0. Shit 1.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
