quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
