very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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