ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
