What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
