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You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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