My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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