you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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