I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
