I wanna bring you to show and tell
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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