He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
