I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
