We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
