Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
