I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
