Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
