Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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