that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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