is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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